Eating What I Want

(Note #1: When I mentioned the topic of this blog to a friend, she gasped and said something like, “Are you really going to admit online that you’re happy your daughter is away?” The answer, is "yes." Because Hemingway says to write what is true, right? And, while other single parents may have an ex-husband or two to take care of their kids every once in a while, I do not. So, while S and I generally have a blast, I need the break. I will be happy to get her back in August, but until then, I am going to relish my alone-ness.

Note #2: I wrote this post on Saturday, July 2, which is why the dates are off. And, since then I’ve had the mustard vinaigrette from this chicken recipe on lamb as well, and it was mighty tasty. I highly recommend it.)

So without further ado:

Eating What I Want

An acquaintance in my neighborhood that I see on occasion once said to me: Don’t you agree, Janetta, that it’s easier for couples to socialize than it is for single people?

What was I supposed to say to that?

Oh, yes! Your life is so much better than mine! I sit at home hoping and wishing that someone will please invite my lonely self over.

I think I do okay. I’m way funner than this woman, so maybe no one would invite her anywhere without her husband and she was taking it out on me.

That said, I am spending today completely by myself. Which is okay even for the holiday weekend because I have at least two social activities per day lined up for Sunday and Monday.

How can Janetta have the day all to herself, you may wonder, remembering that I generally have a pesky, needy (frequently wonderful) teenager around. One word for you: camp. This is the moment that I wait for all year (now that I can watch the Sound of Music and the Wizard of Oz any old time I want). This time she’s gone for 6 weeks (barring any catastrophes, but I told her coming home before the scheduled day is out – camp or, in the event of scarlet fever, the hospital, are her only options). This may sound harsh and non-maternal – my apologies to all of you mothers out there who are bereft at even the thought of dropping your kids off at camp for weeks at a time. I wish I were you, but this is the only break I get, so I’m not.

When S was younger and more dependent on me, I would fill every moment of alone time (even a day) with as many activities as possible – so by the end of my mothering hiatus, I was exhausted and didn’t even feel the break. This summer I have 42 whole days, so I’m trying not to do that.

Today I swam and ran and read and now I write. And tonight I’m going to eat what I want. Since I’m solely in charge of the shopping and cooking in my house, you’d think that would happen more often. But it doesn’t. For the next month and a half, I’m going to squeeze in everything I can that S says she won’t eat for whatever crazy reason: lamb (I won’t eat baby animals!), chicken (no rational reason at all, and she’ll eat it in Asian food, just nothing else), anything grilled (You always burn it!). And I’m going to eat every meal I consume at home outside. Something S hates to do for various complicated adolescent reasons (someone might see us!). And I’m going to do other stuff I never get to. Today I had both the Bose and the iHome blasting This American Life throughout the house. I haven’t listened to even one note on Kiss 108 in the two days she’s been gone (god, am I already down to 40 days??). And without someone begging me to buy them something every single second of every single day, I’m going to save money.

But back to the food. This recipe is one of my favorites even though I haven’t made it in many years. It was the cover recipe from the May 1994 Bon Appétit with a feature on French picnics. I generally want to live inside a French picnic, so it’s perfect for me. When I first made this chicken, I was half of a couple, socializing with ease, I suppose. And I still had two years before I would become a mother. I was 29 – I actually went on Outward Bound that same month to try to get my emotional life together before I had a baby. The best laid plans…. I was living in the country and commuting to my job at National Geographic Television during the week. It was a good time. All of the Oprah-worthy scenarios that defined my 30’s and seeped into my 40’s were totally unimaginable. I thought I had it all. Tomorrow I’m going to bring leftovers to the beach where I’m going with a couple and a single friend (who somehow managed to snag an invite despite her marital status). And then I’m driving to another friend’s ocean-side house for a pre-4^th barbeque. They invited me on my own, imagine that. And I have two parties on Monday and two consecutive weekends w friends in the Berkshires. So maybe I don’t have it all, but I have what I need. And people do invite me over, and I still have this chicken. And now you do too.

Roast Chicken With Mustard Vinaigrette
from Bon Appétit

For chicken:

• 1 6- to 7-pound roasting chicken
• 1 large shallot
• 2 fresh rosemary sprigs
• 2 fresh sage sprigs
• 1 cup Mustard Vinaigrette
• 1 tablespoon chopped fresh rosemary
• 1 tablespoon chopped fresh sage

For vinaigrette:

• 1/4 cup Dijon mustard
• 3 tablespoons white wine vinegar
• 3/4 cup olive oil
• 2/3 cup chopped shallots
• 2 tablespoons chopped fresh rosemary
• 2 teaspoons chopped fresh sage

To make vinaigrette:

Mix mustard and vinegar in bowl. Gradually whisk in oil. Mix in shallots and herbs. Season with salt and pepper. (Can be made 1 day ahead. Cover, chill. Bring to room temperature, mix before using.)

To make chicken:

Preheat oven to 450°F. Pat chicken dry. Season cavity with salt and pepper. Place shallot, 2 rosemary sprigs and 2 sage sprigs in cavity. Slide hand between chicken skin and meat over breast to form pockets. Spread 2 tablespoons vinaigrette under skin over breast meat. Tie legs together to hold shape; tuck wings under body. Place chicken in roasting pan. Brush 2 tablespoons vinaigrette over chicken. Sprinkle with chopped rosemary and sage. Season with salt and pepper.

Roast chicken 20 minutes. Reduce oven temperature to 375°F. Continue roasting until juices run clear when chicken is pierced in thickest part of thigh, basting occasionally with pan juices, about 1 hour 20 minutes. Remove from oven and let cool 1 hour. (Can be made 1 day ahead. Cover and chill.)

Place chicken and herb sprigs on platter. Serve with remaining vinaigrette. I made a side of tabouli salad with tomatoes and artichoke hearts (shown above), but it goes well with anything.